as of 2:53 pm

I have…

taken the kids to the grocery store for our first successful real big grocery shop.  (You know, the kind where you remember to buy butter and not just grab pretzels and wipeys).

been stuck in the rain for approximately 35 minutes with two kids in a stroller.

watched my dumb dog get clipped by a car.  She is fine.

avoided talking to Creepy Neighbor Guy twice and didn’t avoid it once.

cleaned Cheerios and poop out of the potty chair.

avoided the dish situation again.

thought about how lucky I am to have my little kiddos and my little untidy house.

PS – I’m wearing my husband’s ugly bathrobe.

my girl’s favorite color

“Hey Lily, what’s your favorite color?”

“Ummm…PRINCESS!”

calm down, subconscious. thanks.

Last night I had a dream that I am all alone in a college lecture hall watching a video of my wedding day.  Except it isn’t a video.  It’s a hologram.  Like R2D2 projects in Star Wars- “help me Obi Wan Kenobi.”

Anyway I am watching this hologram of my wedding day and a voice-over comes on and says “Jessica’s dress and reception were inspired by the Wicked Witch of the West.”  And darned if the voice-over isn’t right: my dress has a long poufy black skirt and sickly-green bodice.  Josh is wearing a sickly-green tux and black vest.  I’m not sure I like it.

Then we are walking into our reception, Josh now in drag with a blond wig and matching sickly-green dress.  I am thinking that the drag may have been a poor choice and then all of a sudden a madman’s face blocks my view of the hologram and says “gimme a KISS” and snaps my neck and I die.

Aaaaand then I wake up and have to go make sure my kids are breathing.

They were, of course, still asleep because MAX IS SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT.  I’m getting so much sleep that I actually get to dream, and my subconscious is going nuts.

I’ll take it.

oh how i miss this

I miss you, tomatoes!

I miss you, no-pants baby!

it snowed!

And Max said “snowflake.”

hello, neglected blog. i’ve lost 12 pounds.

Well don’t that beat all?

A quick recap of howeverthehell long it’s been:

• Christmas was nice.
• I hate New Year’s Eve –  always have, always will
• Lily stopped sleeping
• and started major tantrum activity in the wee hours
• she started sleeping again
• it got really cold
• Max stopped sleeping
• started waking to nurse 5x per night
• my tummy felt odd…not pg it was…
• swine freakin flu
• Max got the flu and sleeps again

So that’s what I’ve been up to.  Currently, I am occupied with flu-recovery things like wiping two pairs of goopy eyes (hooray conjunctivitis!) and living on bananas and ginger ale.

I tried eating a Lunchable for, you know, lunch, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I did eat the two vanilla cookies included in said Lunchable, so I think I’m on the mend.

I miss my garden.

Amen.

people in this house: poem by a mad housewife

four people in this house

how many do laundry?

one.

four people in this house

how many wear underwear?

two.

four people in this house

how many don’t do dishes?

three.

four people in this house

how many sleep all night?

zero.

toothache, wine

So ignoring a terrible toothache doesn’t make it go away, just in case you were wondering. I hate hate hate going to the dentist. I hate it! My gums are all swollen and scary around this one place where I have a filling. I can’t chew and I have a killer headache.

I ignored it all weekend and popped advil when I couldn’t take it anymore hoping that it would get better on it’s own. It hasn’t.

Now I have a throbbing face and the chills. I’m pretty sure that’s not good.

I called my wonderful, gentle dentist who is very patient with weenies like me. I heard the dreaded words:

ROOT CANAL.

Waiting for the office to call me back.
Just had a glass of wine and 4 advil.

Merry freakin christmas.

comfort and joy

Oh Max.

6 pounds lost

40 to go.

This is slow going made slower by being a nursing mom.  Yeah, I know you’re supposed to burn lots of calories while breastfeeding, but what they don’t tell you is that your body tries to store up MORE AND MORE fat to turn into milk.  It makes sense from a survival perspective I guess, but I wish my body would get the news that I live in the city limits, not on the prairie in Olden Days.

Hey body, we live within walking distance of an Arby’s!  Enough with the preparing for famine stuff!  You can let go of the fat!  We won’t starve!

Double baby weight, it’s a bitch.